Fair enough.
How to handle trash talk without becoming someone you're not
The first thing I teach every one of my players, boys and girls, is: don't give in to trash talk. If someone says something, makes a comment, or teases her, she ignores it. That's the best defense there is. Or she laughs at herself, tells them they're right, and says "Fair enough." They get confused and don't know where to go from there. What matters is being sure of who she is.
Okay, so. Here's how I handle it myself. If someone tells me my legs are too white, I tell them I tried tanning, but it didn't work out. If someone tells me I'm a son of a . . . I tell them, actually, my mom's a teacher, and she doesn't have time for that.
Trash talk is all about taking the power of words and using it against you, in a way that throws you off your game. I teach my players two ways to handle it, and one more that's an option, but less recommended.
It all comes from the chapter on confidence in my book. On this site the whole approach is called the Next Play Mindset: a simple way to decide what she wants, do the work, and believe she can get there.
1.Don't give in
The first thing I teach every one of my players, boys and girls, is: don't give in to trash talk.
It's in the very first chapter of my book, too, under protecting what we built. Fight the distractions, from outside and from inside. Negative people. The negative thoughts we all have. Don't fall for the trash talk.
2.Ignore it
If someone says something, makes a comment, teases her, she ignores it. That's the best defense against trash talk there is.
When she thinks good, positive things about herself, and she's sure of who she is, then even if someone says something negative about her, she doesn't react, and she doesn't get offended. Because there's no truth in it.
3.Laugh at herself: "Fair enough"
Here's another way I use. I like to laugh at myself.
It makes it a lot easier to deal with someone who's trying to tease me. I tell them they're right. And then they get confused and don't know where to go from there. The words I use are "Fair enough." Humor makes it easier to handle.
For her: two moves
One printable page for the next time someone trash-talks her. Ignore it, or "Fair enough" and a laugh. Nothing else. With room to write her own "Fair enough." Letter size.
4.Going on offense: an option, less recommended
On top of defense, she can also go on offense. Less recommended, but it's an option.
It's harder for people who are shy and introverted by nature, because it means taking on personality traits that don't really fit them. It means stepping a little out of her comfort zone and saying things she usually doesn't say. Trash talking is not easy, especially if she's not used to it.
Me, I'm an introvert, shy by nature. I don't trash talk. Only as a comeback, when someone trash-talks me first.
5.Be sure of who she is
Either way, if you ask me, the best way to handle teasing and comments is simply to be sure enough of herself to ignore what other people think or say about her. Especially when it's negative.
What matters is being sure of who she is, and understanding that what she thinks about herself is what counts. When she's sure of herself, she believes she can handle the hard things she'll face on the way to becoming her best version.
Before you talk to her
There aren't many bad people in this world. They move around a lot, so it feels like more, but there aren't many. She'll run into one now and then. The way to handle them is confidence.
What she says, and what you can say back
Every answer here is a line from the chapter on confidence in my book.
| When she says | You can say |
|---|---|
| "Someone made a comment about me." | "Ignore it. That's the best defense against trash talk there is." |
| "They keep teasing me." | "Tell them they're right. 'Fair enough.' And laugh at yourself." |
| "Should I talk trash back?" | "It's an option. Less recommended. I only do it as a comeback." |
Questions parents ask
What if it really hurts?
When she's sure of who she is, even if someone says something negative about her, she doesn't react, and she doesn't get offended. Because there's no truth in it.
Isn't ignoring it weak?
It's the best defense against trash talk there is. And it's the first thing I teach every one of my players.
What if she's shy?
So am I. I'm an introvert, shy by nature. I don't trash talk. Going on offense is harder for people who are shy and introverted, because it means taking on personality traits that don't really fit them.
Is this for boys too?
Yes. It's the first thing I teach every one of my players, boys and girls. The book is for all the girls, at every age. And for the boys too.
Free: The Next Play Mini Journal
By the end of the week she has closed the last game with a clear head, picked one thing to work on at practice, and written her plan for the next one. Seven pages, one a day, five minutes a day, written by Coach Isaac in the same words he uses with his own players.
- Day 1, The Reset. Tonight, before she goes to sleep. Three slow breaths, one honest sentence about what happened, a name for the feeling, and the one thing this game is teaching her. Then she closes the game. Tomorrow is a different page.
- Day 2, The Tape. The next morning. Coaches watch the tape the next day, never the same night, because the same night you only see the mistakes. The next day you see the whole game, including what she did right.
- Day 3, My Why. When the why is strong, the how gets easier. She writes down why she plays, clearly enough to say it out loud.
- Day 4, One Focus. She knows what to fix and why it matters. Now she turns it into one small thing she can do at practice this week, and repeats it. That's how real improvement works.
- Day 5, Winter. A sports season works like the seasons of the year, and game season is winter. You can't cancel winter. What you can do is get better at it: stronger physically, stronger mentally, stronger with your feelings.
- Day 6, Believe. Belief isn't magic. It's what she says to herself, over and over, until it's what she thinks. On this page she writes her own lines instead of the ones other people put in her head.
- Day 7, Next Play. Her game plan for the next game. Eyes forward. The season only moves in one direction.
It's free. Leave your email, and the download opens right away, in Letter and A4.
More from the blog
How to motivate your daughter in sports
She wants more from her sport, from school, from herself. And she ends up on Instagram, TikTok and the group chat instead. How to tell what's stopping her, and what you can say back.
October 1, 2026
What to do when your child makes excuses
"I have no energy." "My stomach hurts." "Practice isn't fun." A coach hears these every week. Here's what he says back, and why he doesn't hand her the escape hatch right away.
October 11, 2026
How to balance school and sports as a student athlete
School, practice, homework, friends. By the end of the day she's tired, with that feeling of "I didn't get to it." Where that feeling comes from, and the six questions that plan her day.
October 11, 2026
Based on chapters 1 and 15 of From Gazelle to Lioness by Coach Isaac.