Have. Do. Be.
Goal setting for young athletes
Goals she'll actually reach start with three questions. What does she want to have? To do? To be? She writes the answers as a list. Then she checks every goal: specific, measurable, in numbers, realistic, with a deadline, in the present tense. She picks the 10 for the coming year. Next to each one, at least 3 actions. And she writes those goals again every day, until it's routine.
Okay, so. When my son was studying for a math test, here's what I told him.
You've got all the answers to the questions inside you. There's no knowledge you don't know. There's only knowledge you haven't found yet.
It's also my answer to the question that hangs in the air the moment she has a list of goals. How? How does she bring those goals into her reality?
Goals are where the Method starts. On this site it's called the Next Play Mindset: a simple way to decide what she wants, do the work, and believe she can get there.
1.Start with three questions
The list comes first. All in all, it takes about 30 minutes.
What do I want to have? What do I want to do? Who do I want to be? She writes the answers as a list, one under the other, for at least the next 10 years, as if nothing in the world could stop her. The whole exercise, with a printable page, is in She's not lazy. She's stuck.
How many? Some say 50. Some say 100, or 101, or 500. Whatever comes out in the end.
Drawing a blank? In the book I tell the story of a guy who opened the newspaper every morning for two or three weeks. Anything he read that looked good to him, he wrote down as a goal. He got to 500. That year, he climbed Mount Everest. One goal out of the 500.
2.Write each goal so it works
For the magic to work, you have to hold the wand properly.
Every goal on her list gets checked against six rules.
- Specific. As exact as she can make it.
- Measurable. So she can check her progress along the way.
- In numbers. As much as possible.
- Realistic. At a level that makes sense. (Not "tomorrow I'm flying to the moon.")
- With a deadline. A pretty precise one.
- In the present tense.
Here's one from the book: "I get an A in math on my report card, as of June 20, 2028." Exact, easy to check, with a date, and written as if it's already happening.
3.Give each goal a time frame, then pick 10
Next to every goal, she writes the number of years she thinks it'll take. Whatever seems reasonable to her.
1, 3, 5 or 10 years. For example: "I'm flying to New York to see a Knicks game. Within 1 year from today."
Then she gathers every goal with "1 year" next to it. If the list is too long, she cuts it down to the 10 goals that matter most to her. If it's too short, she looks at her "3 years" goals for any she could maybe reach within a year, and adds those.
That's "My Goals for the Coming Year." From now on, part of her day is writing those goals down at least once, until it becomes routine.
For her: My Goals for the Coming Year
The page from the back of my book, with room for ten goals and their deadlines, plus a "Why?" box for the most important one. Letter size.
4.Three actions for every goal
For every goal on her list for the coming year, she writes at least 3 actions she thinks will move her toward it.
She doesn't have to be sure they'll work. But she does have to write 3 next to each goal.
Here are the actions I wrote in the book next to that A in math.
- I show up to every math class, all year.
- I actually learn and listen in every class. Actively.
- I do all my homework and assignments on time.
- I start studying for tests 2 weeks before.
- I take the tests on time, and I believe I'm getting an A.
Not easy. But goal achieved.
Then all her actions go into one list, "My Action List," and every action gets a frequency: daily, weekly, monthly, and so on. A big action can start small. If one of her actions is to run 3 miles a week, the first week can be 1 mile, building up little by little.
5.A page of reasons for each goal
After she picks her 10 most important goals, she opens a new page for each one.
The title at the top of the page is the goal itself. Under it, she writes every reason why she wants to reach it. And the reasons need to be strong.
Here's why. To get through the hard parts and the obstacles that come with a goal, she has to know why she's doing it. If the reasons are strong enough, they'll carry her over whatever gets in her way. Once she knows why she's doing it, the "how" gets easier.
Before you talk to her
When she reads you her list, remember the rule she wrote it by. It's not what she thinks she can get. It's not what makes sense for her to get. It's what she wants, if there were no limits at all.
What she says, and what you can say back
Every answer here is a line from the book, from the chapters on goals and action plans.
| When she says | You can say |
|---|---|
| "I don't know what to write." | "Go online and look at anything that can inspire answers to those 3 questions." |
| "I don't know how to get there." | "There's no knowledge you don't know. There's only knowledge you haven't found yet." |
| "I don't know what actions to write." | "Deep down, we all know what we need to do. And if you seriously don't know? Ask, and you shall be answered." |
| "What if they don't work?" | "You don't have to be sure they'll work. But you do have to write 3 next to each goal." |
| "That's way too big." | "Break any big action into a tiny first step." |
A card in his pocket
John Wooden, the UCLA basketball coach, got a 3x5 card from his father with seven suggestions written on it. He carried it with him all his life.
Questions parents ask
How many goals should she write?
Some say 50. Some say 100, or 101, or 500. Whatever comes out in the end. Then she picks the 10 that matter most to her for the coming year.
Can her goals be about school?
Yes. School is one of the areas of her life, next to family, friends, her health and her sport. An A in math on her report card is a goal with five actions next to it.
What if she doesn't know what actions to take?
Deep down, we all know what we need to do. And if she seriously doesn't know, she asks. There are smart people in this world, and some of them have probably already reached the exact goal she wrote down.
Is this for boys too?
Yes. The book is for all the girls, at every age. And for the boys too.
The Young Athlete's Mindset & Goals Journal
If she'd rather do this on paper for a whole season, it's in my shop. Part 2 is her season goals: from big dream to one measurable season goal, three process goals she fully controls, an action plan, and a signed commitment page that makes it real.
Free: The Next Play Mini Journal
By the end of the week she has closed the last game with a clear head, picked one thing to work on at practice, and written her plan for the next one. Seven pages, one a day, five minutes a day, written by Coach Isaac in the same words he uses with his own players.
- Day 1, The Reset. Tonight, before she goes to sleep. Three slow breaths, one honest sentence about what happened, a name for the feeling, and the one thing this game is teaching her. Then she closes the game. Tomorrow is a different page.
- Day 2, The Tape. The next morning. Coaches watch the tape the next day, never the same night, because the same night you only see the mistakes. The next day you see the whole game, including what she did right.
- Day 3, My Why. When the why is strong, the how gets easier. She writes down why she plays, clearly enough to say it out loud.
- Day 4, One Focus. She knows what to fix and why it matters. Now she turns it into one small thing she can do at practice this week, and repeats it. That's how real improvement works.
- Day 5, Winter. A sports season works like the seasons of the year, and game season is winter. You can't cancel winter. What you can do is get better at it: stronger physically, stronger mentally, stronger with your feelings.
- Day 6, Believe. Belief isn't magic. It's what she says to herself, over and over, until it's what she thinks. On this page she writes her own lines instead of the ones other people put in her head.
- Day 7, Next Play. Her game plan for the next game. Eyes forward. The season only moves in one direction.
It's free. Leave your email, and the download opens right away, in Letter and A4.
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Based on chapters 3, 4 and 5 and the My Goals for the Coming Year and Why? pages of From Gazelle to Lioness by Coach Isaac. The 3x5 card is from John Wooden's story of his father.